Maybe just maybe if you stopped expecting so much

I didn't choose my name, I didn't choose my God but I'm entitled to both, both grew into me, sometimes I feel like I would've been a different person if I had the choice i know I would've been because I ended up breaking the rules I was raised by, it feels like the person I could've been has died the day I was born, the person I could've been was washed off of me when my parents held me, but sometimes I'm filled with this hope I exist somewhere within all this labels all over me when I disappoint those that raised me, it would make me feel like I'm being my ownself.

I wrote a song, another love song
The same flow and melody as before
But a different boy.
Oh I feel safe once more
I feel I have found love

Just like before
But a different guy
Here comes the butterflies
The giggling all night
Thinking all about him
Until I don't anymore

The same "I like you" speech
But just a different boy
Until he fades away
Like every other guy
Here is another love song
Cause for now
I call you mine.

Such A Clingy fuck.

See no one thought you how to love
No one made you feel good enough
You've been rejected half your life
Seeking approvals, nobody gave you
the lies you told, wishing they were true
They caught up to you now you feeling blue
And you looked for love in wicked places
Only to wonder why none of them stayed
You're clingy, you're needy,
you seek attention
Your trauma kicks in
you're home to depression
You trust everyone
You trust him
You trust her
To turn into a broken piece
A couple weeks later
You rush to call it love
You rush to live the romance
Knowing you aren't enough
Knowing you don't stand a chance
Every feeling ain't love
And every boy isn't special
You are just another soul
Trying to make things fictional.

The Sinking feeling

Think of this, nobody choose their life, we came into this life and society shoves its morals & principles down our throat, our life isn't a choice it is an adjustment, an adjustment to what already is out there, you see every decision is already made for you, even our name the one thing we have the most attachment with is given to us by someone that isn't us, the God they tell you to believe in is the God they choose for you, they will tell you not to never question it so we become this confused children with no faith.

We are told what's wrong & what's right, no questions asked they have already portrayed this life for us before we are even conceived, we don't belong to ourselves, our parents don't belong to themselves everybody is this custom made toy molded by their owners, and so I wonder who started this mad cycle, who would break it? Who would finally realize we are all carrying this generational trauma, and we are being robbed of the life we could decide for ourselves.

I guess that's where the self hate orginates, when the person who we are really meant to be has been suppressed by the person we are thought to be, we get into this battle with ourselves, the mind would feel guilt for wanting different than its thought, it would be suffocated then the depression is born,

 i guess this is why our generation is more depressed because they still have the person they are meant to be within better than our ancestors did, because we finally realized we don't want to fit in the tiny circles they made for us.

I wrote too many about a small person, I cried so loud to a deaf soul, so if I've stopped writing rejoice for me, for I no longer think or feel the darkness eating on me. Feel nothing but joy for my mind no longer emits depressing words and rhymes, infact congratulate me for I am no longer reliving the past through words like I used to, congratulate me for I've finally cut ties with the anger that gave birth to the sad poet.
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