I stopped forcing people in trying to understand me. I stopped explaining myself to anyone who didn't know my truth. I started caring less about people and gave myself enough attention. I started learning to love myself more, especially on the days where I feel like I'm completely worthless. I'm not going to apologize to people for putting myself first. I deserve to be loved by myself, and I deserve to feel worthy.

I stopped listening to some people's lies. I stopped giving them permission to hurt me. I'm done with all the pain that I've received from the ones that I treasured the most. I am now walking away from the ones who made me feel unwanted. I started protecting my peace of mind and started taking care of myself. The greatest thing I've learned after I've been hurt a lot is that I must try to give myself the love that I'm trying to give to other people. And this time, I will never apologize to people for giving me what I truly deserve.

— Shiori X

she's strong, but she's exhausted.

I want to see no one, I want to say nothing, I want to go down and rest in the black earth of silence.

- Robert Fly

Ya Allāh bless us in the month of shab'an and help us reach Ramadan. Amīn, Allāhumma amīn.

It hurts when you want to express what you feel, but all you can do is stay quiet.❤️

It's okay, maybe I don't deserve happiness.

My forgiveness is always free but my trust doesn't exist anymore.

I love the part where someone that's been really unlucky in love finally meets someone that makes them feel seen, heard, & understood.

I love the part where someone that's been really unlucky in love finally meets someone that makes them realize why it didn't work out with anyone else.

I love the part where two people that were hurt by love come together to heal, grow, & evolve. I just love love. Being in love. Movies & stories about love. Seeing people in love. It's all SO beautiful to me.."

“I’m Losing Feeling Within My Soul”
I’m losing all feeling within my soul
My existence is fading, life is taking its toll
My dream told me not to wake up today
“You’re dying too fast, your soul can’t taste the day
My reality is now dimming all the lights
The darkness appears then my hopes take flight
Down-time, no-time in the corner I sit
Cutting my flesh to disappear, so many bloody bits
To be nothing is a truth of a feeling I own
To live beyond the horizon, I became unknown
This image I hold for my mind's eye to see
Never understanding my ways of what I became to be
Real-time, every time I swallow what I chew

It all becomes a part of me, this skin all black and blue
So, I dressed in black for years, to my insanity I tried to hide
I was always found, my dreams always showed me how I died
My soul didn’t believe life never threw a rose away
My soul's path was strewn with thorns, a future of bloody days
Cuts and rips of my past on my curtained soul stage
I now sit in the audience watching my soul grow into dead age
No more days are written, my soul has closed its pen
I stood off to the side of life knowing, my time was not when
It’s over now and I smile for my home awaits my return
On this trip was my demise, all my return tickets I would burn

She has two faces.
One face that she shows the world, loved ones, and in public.
The smiling one.
The happy, friendly, and talkative one.
The confident one full of laughter and positivity.
The face that everyone is used to.

The second face is the real face.
The one she tries not to show anyone.
The face behind closed doors, when she's alone away from the world, in the security of her own emotions that she doesn't want to show anyone else or have to explain them.
It's exhausting trying to look happy and like nothing is bothering you.
The face that stares off at nothing or patterns on the floor or drapes.
The face that cries in the shower, in bed, car rides alone, cries sitting on the couch, or doing things around for house.
The sad face that stares back at her in the mirror and looks nothing like she used to be.
Well to her anyway. Others say she looks the same. The face that looks strong to the people she knows, but is really just shards of broken glass inside.
Yes, the girl that was there for everyone, and strong for others...is now split into two.
Two faces, one broken spirit.
She can't bear the losses.
It feels like a chapter of a wonderful book closed never to be open again.
All she has are memories and visions in her head that she plays over and over.
Nothing is the same to her.
Everything is different. She can't cope with daily life, her Doctor said. So she writes to help herself, and she has her two faces.
What's funny is, the sad face is the face worth a thousand words underneath in the depths of complexity.
While the happy face full of laughter, love, positiveness, and fun...is a straight shooter."

-️ Michele McKenna | Artwork : unknown

i hope destroying me fixed you....

‘it hurts me when i know you love someone else’

you won’t understand because you're not me.

Sometimes, I want to scream and tell the world how not okay I am. I want to say that I'm slowly losing my mind and losing all my hope to live. But instead of doing it, I stayed silent and act as if there is nothing wrong with me.

The truth is, sometimes I just want to cry in front of everyone. I want to tell them that I am slowly giving up and I couldn't help myself from my own thoughts. The voices in my head are getting louder and they are telling me how worthless I am. I need someone to understand what I feel, but how can somebody understand me when I can't even speak about what is happening to me? I can't even speak about my pain.

I'm tired. I used to tell myself that I'm going to be okay soon. But now it feels like I'm losing my sanity. I'm tired of this feeling. I wish I could just forget that I'm hurting.

— Shiori X

I wasn't really feeling myself lately. I felt so empty, and a part of me was losing its sanity. I thought distracting myself is the best way to escape from this feeling, but here I am, losing myself even more every day. I am not alone, right? I am not alone feeling this way. But I wonder what people do when their hearts are feeling empty. I wonder what they do to feel alive.

I wish I could at least try to comfort myself and pretend that I am just having a bad day. I want to convince myself that I am not having a bad life, but this emptiness consumes every piece of me. I hope I could also tell everyone that I'm okay without having a pang of sadness in my chest. I am just really tired of telling people that I'm fine, when the truth is, I'm losing my mind slowly.

No one knows that all this time, I am not okay. But I silently hope that somehow, someone will see it— the tiredness in my eyes and the sadness behind my smiles.

— Shiori X

I miss the old me , happy me :)

I wish I am a robot. no feelings, no sadness, no pain.

they only see my mistakes
but they don't see how tired i am,
they don't see how exhausted i am
they don't see how much unloved i am,
they only see me as failure
that everyone hates,
and that's it.

_ Mauve