This is all ooc dog talk so you know I've been using the happy nature of puppy to kinda hide behind a mask

But truth is for a few years there all I was was miserable family life is so far down the shitter it's amazing and they had to drag me down with them because why not if they feel awful we should all feel awful

Didn't help alot of the time they keep me busy with their own interests and leave me till night time to cram as many days as I can in under two hours every single night

Why I feel horrible about any and all commissions I get because odds are it's forced to take a back seat during the day because they physically wont leave me alone (I've been the unwilling cure all since i was a kid) and when I can do it I'm either so dead tired I can't make lines or I'm so unhappy with what I make even if it's good I rip it out the book crumble it and try again till I burn myself out

But I've been putting my foot down or threatening it to go in places it shouldn't

Like house full of people any of them can be chosen to go to the store but it's always me because i push a cart "So well"

Anyways boundrys have been sit if they are crossed they are told so I am very tired of being both walked on and treated like a sick mentally challenged 4 year old every day

Daily drawing has been helping too just gives me something different to do while I work to build a life I should of already had but was forced into indentured servitude

Making strides really

Trying my hardest to get a job I think I can hold so I don't have to beg or... sell myself for cash anymore and jobs are hard for me I was never allowed one untill it became a problem for me specifically (yes they would forbid me from a job saying I don't need one and that I need to be there with them taking care of them because I owe them)

So having zero job experience at 25 really throws a huge wrench in your life plans

But all I can really do is try

If I want escape I gotta try to escape

And I really

Really

Want to escape this house

I can go on for days the bullshit they've put me through and they wounder why I don't wanna come talk to them or see them or really do anything with them other than see them when I come out my room

But yeah

Wanted that out there

It's the internet it doesn't matter if you see behind the puppy facade I've expertly crafted to make people think I was okay

Well I say expertly I've broken down no telling how many times