When Tems says crazy things are happening, it was today I felt it.

Police arrested my girlfriend and I yesterday, this morning her boyfriend came to bail her out!

@TheComedyCentre

Delete me from the car 😂

@TheComedyCentre

When you see it just react with 🤭

@TheComedyCentre

I stopped trusting the police when i went for a recruitment test and came first in running only to be told I cannot be recruited because I will escape with the gun!

@TheComedyCentre

Snacks ready

@TheComedyCentre

I was disappointed when the tin of evaporated milk I bought was empty.

I was like, well I fell for that. It definitely said so on the container!

@TheComedyCentre

Wetin Musa no go see for gate

@TheComedyCentre

The best magic show I have ever watched 😂😂😂

@TheComedyCentre

May you not die at your wedding 😂

@TheComedyCentre

A blue whale's anus can scratch to three and a half feet, making it the second biggest asshole next to people who talk on speakerphone in public.

@TheComedyCentre

My friend donated blood when his girlfriend was sick.

After she got better, they break up, he demanded for his blood back.

She threw a pad at him and said she'll pay him monthly.

@TheComedyCentre

Why does beautiful houses have big doors?

Please understand the question before answering!

@TheComedyCentre

When the cashier asked if I want to donate to the poor.

Me: I am the POOR!

@TheComedyCentre

Anyone see the problem here?

@TheComedyCentre

He is only 4 years old bruv!

@TheComedyCentre

I am 100% sure that was his ex. Nothing you won tell me!

@TheComedyCentre

Forgiveness is not forgotten memory, it is memory without revenge.

#WordForTheDay

@TheComedyCentre