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**🌿 Understanding Our Kids: It’s Not About Choice 🌿**

Sometimes, we think our children are choosing to behave in challenging ways, but often, it’s not a choice at all. Kids don’t always have the skills to manage their big feelings, control impulses, or communicate their needs calmly. 💭

When they act out, it’s usually a signal that they're overwhelmed, frustrated, or simply lack the tools they need to cope. Gentle parenting recognizes that children aren't “choosing” to misbehave — they’re responding in the only ways they know how. 🧠💫

Instead of seeing these moments as defiance, we can view them as opportunities to teach and guide. By modeling patience and compassion, we help them build the skills they need to regulate their emotions and make better choices in the future.

So, the next time behavior feels challenging, let’s ask ourselves: “What does my child need to learn here?” rather than “Why are they acting like this?” 🤍

More information in my book source

Kids are often blamed for being emotionally dysregulated and partly for good reason. While children's brains are developing they physically can't manage big emotions. But so often children are singled out for having emotional melt-downs when parents are completely losing control of their own emotions too. It's easy to blame the child as we as parents can feel justified in losing control because kids can be so frustrating. Let's face it, nobody can push your buttons like your child. The problem is, if we lose control of our emotions when our kids are out of control, then we set up a culture of dysregulation. Emotions feed off emotions, so if we are going to bring calm, we need to learn to regulate ourselves.

More in my new book Guidance from The Therapist Parent

Available on my website www.thetherapistparent.com and Amazon

#postitiveparenting #connectedparenting #parenting #resilience #psychology #postivepsychology #respectfulparenting #consciousparenting source

Attention is a primal need that every child is going to seek. If a child is “attention seeking” then they have a need that they are communicating through behaviour, and they need your attention to help. As we meet our kid’s need and redirect them when they ask for it in not so favourable ways, we teach them how to get and give positive attention that is required in all health relationships.

More information in my book

Guidance from The Therapist Parent

Available on my website www.thetherapistparent.com and Amazon

#parenting #positiveparenting #gentleparenting #resilience #respectfulparenting #psychologist #play #playtherapy #childdevelopment #childtherapy #parentingtips #teachers #asd #family #life #adhd #mumlife #momlife #dads source

Every parent has fear around boundaries because of the pushback can be hard to deal with.

Kids will ask. That's what they do.

Parents are allowed to (and at times definitely should) say NO.

Your child might feel upset that you said no. They might cry. They might feel frustrated and angry (who likes being told no?!) - and that's ok. However they feel is ok - It doesn't mean you change your answer

You can show up with care and love and comfort for those feelings:

Validate how they're feeling ("I can tell my decision upset you.").
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Show you care ("I care about how you feel." "I'm here for you.").
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Explore the feelings under their behaviour (“How were you feeling when you _____?”).
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Offer comfort ("Do you want a hug?").
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Love them all the way through the big feelings. See their pain. Stay strong with your boundary decision (no means no). When you do this, you teach them how to deal with upsets and tough feelings - what an amazing life skill!

More information in my book source