To be clear
Loving her was not the mistake
Staying when she didn’t love you was 💔

She didn’t choose you and as hard as it is
That means you must stop choosing her😏

Sometimes when I go to bed
Before I turn out the light
I take my heavy heart out and put it away for the night
So if in the morning, you do not see me rise it’s because I can’t seem to put it back without putting tears in my eyes

Sometimes you aren’t ready to unpack and that’s okay.
Sometimes you just want to hold hostage the way she loved you once as if someone may come along and repay you for all the heartache you spent on her.

Sometimes you have to let the hostage go without reparations

It feels like you’re lost. you’re on a ship sailing through troubled waters, occasionally pulling a drowning soul on board. you mend whatever has left them broken. Once they are whole,they leave, and u are alone again. Sometimes you want to jump overboard and let someone save you instead, but you are too kind to be a temporary passenger in someone’s heart.

Do me a favor.
Stay on board.
You’re not lost you are finding.

Eventually they’re not going to be your person anymore, they won’t be the one you want to share sunset and shooting stars with,
they won’t be the one you want to call when your feelings are too heavy to carry alone
I know that right now you want to run to them but closed arms will not hold you and careless heart will not heal you.

it isn't a crime not to love someone wholly
but sometimes i wish it were
because to be loved in halves
seems heavier than an ocean of loneliness
to be loved and not known
is almost worse than never to be loved at all

i've always liked my own company
but now when i'm alone
your words are all that i hear
so here i sit in public places
hoping that the voices around me
will be louder than the voices within

the strangest feeling
is to look at a person
you once loved
and realize
you do not know them anymore

i stood out in the cold
waiting
until my tears turned into icicles
then i used them to carve your name
across my entire body
hoping
i would be able to feel you again

you will find someone
that stays when you're at your worst.
you
will find someone
who wants to hold you together
when you feel like you are shattered.
when you come home at 4 a.m.
they will be waiting at your door.
when your mind runs wild
and you turn into a hurricane.
they will stay
you
will find someone who won't let you storm on your own.

Stop hurting your own feelings. stop walking into situations
that you know are breaking you. take responsibility for your
heart.

it's okay to say i miss you, but you don't deserve me. realizing
that your feelings are real and cause real heartache is okay.
what isn't okay is allowing those feelings to drag you around
to places that are harming you. you will miss them. they were
a big part of your life and a big part of you. but take a deep
breath and know that you were whole before them and you are
whole without them. one step at a time.

you must keep moving forward. there isn't time to hover in
places that no longer serve your needs. you are not a helicopter
you are an airplane and if you stop moving you will crash.
disregard the uneasy feeling that looms from the unknown
and take to the sky.

"do you think you'll forget me someday when we are grown,
and we live in different states?" she asked.

"i don't think so," i said.

but this is what i should have said.

"i will remember you every time someone makes me laugh or
each time someone gives me a space to share a secret that has
when anyone
been burning in my chest. i will remember
you
picks up the phone at an inconvenient time or whenever
someone holds me when i cry. how does one forget a person
who taught me so much about friendship? to forget you
be to forget how to love."
would

tell me why they left you
i will tell you why i stay
tell me that you made a mistake
i will tell you it's okay
tell me you're sorry
i will tell you there is nothing to apologize for
tell me who you are
i will tell you that you are more
tell me your heart is broken
i'll tell you i feel it too
tell me you hate yourself
i will tell
you
i love you

i'm going to make you a promise.
i know that scares you
and you aren't even sure
if you believe in promises anymore.
there is going to be a day
when you wake up and what they do isn't going to matter so
much anymore.
be patient

you've been so occupied by your hurt
that you're not sure who you are without it
existing in pain is not your purpose

i've been afraid of stillness for a long time
when i quiet everything else
when i calm my busy life
you are the only thought
that occupies my mind

allow your smile to be young
allow your eyes to be old
enjoy life like a child
but have the wisdom to value life
as if you are on your last breath