Forcing yourself to be heartless so that you won’t get hurt again

My toxic trait is that i get mad about old pain, even if I’ve moved past it. Because i still don’t understand why i deserved it

So no one’s going to talk about how painful it was for the person who was not ready for a committed relationship but flirted with you and made you feel special and loved but ended up in a no-label breakup.

I always pushed people away,
not because they did something wrong, but because i know
i will hurt them in some ways,
it can be mentally, emotionally or physically

because i know, eventually,
some point in my life,
i am mentally unstable,
which can affect them deeply,
that i cannot maintain a friendship,
so instead of letting our connections lasts,
i always cut it earlier than what i expected it to lasts.

Many people may see me
as a selfish person
because of the reason
that i tend to push people away
whenever i wanted to, it is okay,
at least i know to myself
that i won’t hurt someone from being selfless

My biggest fear in relationship?

Scared if he still love his past silently

I knew it wouldn’t last. I knew it from the moment we first talked. Yet i still had hope that maybe just once in my life something good could stay.

Pov: you let go of him

For the first time in my life,
i give up
i give up on you and
i give up on us

I can’t keep fighting
for people to stay
and losing myself
every time someone walks away

I can’t keep losing myself
so i have to lose you

“But what if i never stop loving him?”
-what if i spend the rest of my life only ever knowing how to love him

She needs to put into words her thoughts, because if she doesn’t, it feels like she’s drowning

When he says that he’s scared of hurting you

it’s not empathy, it’s a warning

🤷🏻‍♀️

I wanted to feel loved without feeling like i was begging for it

Sometimes you make me feel like i actually have a chance with you but when i try take that chance, you make me realize i never really did

Maybe sometimes, we are the ones breaking our own hearts. We walk into situation, get attached to someone all by choice. And then we let them break our hearts, because we’re the ones who gave them opportunity to.

but lately, what I’ve been crying about most is myself

the person i used to be and lost

and the person in the present with no clue about her future 🙂

nothing hurts more than trying your absolute best and still not being good enough 🙃

the moments when you burst into tears in your room and you realized that no one knows how unhappy you are

Even now, i wish her nothing but the best in life 🤍

Hi Farah Shaziana. I know you’re still in this channel.

Its been a while since we last talk to each other. We even barely look at each other's stories anymore. I still remember the times when we play and study together that i keep on rewinding the memories in my mind whenever im sad or when i felt the urge of missing you guys. If i could turn back the time, i would cherish the moments and create more memories while i still can. We told each other to never forget any of us. Look at what adulthood has made us. I just wanna you guys know that im still wishing the best for your life. You guys still my best friend. Thank you for being a part of my life. Till we meet again dear 🫶🏻