I've been too hard on myself lately. I feel like I couldn't give myself the love that I truly deserve. I feel disappointed for treating myself this way. I know that I am worthy of love and that I am enough, but I still feel so worthless at times. I've been telling myself some harsh words that can also hurt me. I lost respect and love for myself. All I know is that I don't want to hurt myself anymore. I feel the guilt in my heart every time I treat myself poorly. It makes me sad that, until now, I am still learning not to hate myself. I am still learning to forgive myself so that I can finally accept myself wholeheartedly. It's quite sad when I can't even see my worth, but it's sadder when I see myself hurting because of the things that I think about myself. I often think that I am not good enough for everything, and that breaks my heart every time I say it to myself.
— Shiori X
— Shiori X
Dear myself,
I hope you will always remember that it's okay to take a pause, to breathe, to give yourself a break whenever the world is too overwhelming. Sometimes, things can be so hard but please always remember that you can take one day at a time. No one is rushing you but yourself. So, I want you to thank yourself for making it this far. You can be so messed up and full of chaotic thoughts, but I will always try to love you as you are. Thankyou for being you.
I hope you will always remember that it's okay to take a pause, to breathe, to give yourself a break whenever the world is too overwhelming. Sometimes, things can be so hard but please always remember that you can take one day at a time. No one is rushing you but yourself. So, I want you to thank yourself for making it this far. You can be so messed up and full of chaotic thoughts, but I will always try to love you as you are. Thankyou for being you.
❤1
May be she exists.
May be she exists in someone's silent point of view, looking at her in all the gentle way that that he can—by never gazing at her as she is not yet his. He's handling her so careful with du'ās to Allāh to take care of her—all without her knowledge and consciousness of his existence. He talks to her in the most gentle way he could—by never daring to utter a brave 'salām' to her privately, but mentions her name to Allāh more often than she can ever imagine.
May be there's a love that she doesn't know in the door that she thought was closed—and maybe it's purposely closed, because the key is still being carefully crafted in du'ās and self—improvement, so when he comes, she'll deserve him and he'll deserve her.
While she doesn't know where he is, she longingly waits to see his smile, yearning to hear him utter her name like a luxury that she never was able to afford, but paid them through her endless du'as and patience, until qadar finally hand her hands to his. Until he can finally call her half of his dīn.
May be there's always a love she doesn't know about, but she trust Al—Wadūd, The Most Loving to give her qalb to someone who will never make it an option to hurt her.
And may be he exists somewhere, may be somewhere near or perhaps so far to a place she have never been, but he exists, all the time, in her imagined future with him; imperfect yet together and Allāh—loving and fearing, earning the Love of Al—Wadūd Who Wills for hearts to meet, even if the distance is heavens and the earth.
He exists. He exists in her du'ās, praying to Allāh to be his qurratu ayn, asking Him to take care of him, loving him already in her du'ās.
She exists here in her die—hard hopeless romantic self, scarred by life, and living in saudade. She exists here, waiting for him.
—Veiled Poet | She Exists
May be she exists in someone's silent point of view, looking at her in all the gentle way that that he can—by never gazing at her as she is not yet his. He's handling her so careful with du'ās to Allāh to take care of her—all without her knowledge and consciousness of his existence. He talks to her in the most gentle way he could—by never daring to utter a brave 'salām' to her privately, but mentions her name to Allāh more often than she can ever imagine.
May be there's a love that she doesn't know in the door that she thought was closed—and maybe it's purposely closed, because the key is still being carefully crafted in du'ās and self—improvement, so when he comes, she'll deserve him and he'll deserve her.
While she doesn't know where he is, she longingly waits to see his smile, yearning to hear him utter her name like a luxury that she never was able to afford, but paid them through her endless du'as and patience, until qadar finally hand her hands to his. Until he can finally call her half of his dīn.
May be there's always a love she doesn't know about, but she trust Al—Wadūd, The Most Loving to give her qalb to someone who will never make it an option to hurt her.
And may be he exists somewhere, may be somewhere near or perhaps so far to a place she have never been, but he exists, all the time, in her imagined future with him; imperfect yet together and Allāh—loving and fearing, earning the Love of Al—Wadūd Who Wills for hearts to meet, even if the distance is heavens and the earth.
He exists. He exists in her du'ās, praying to Allāh to be his qurratu ayn, asking Him to take care of him, loving him already in her du'ās.
She exists here in her die—hard hopeless romantic self, scarred by life, and living in saudade. She exists here, waiting for him.
—Veiled Poet | She Exists
❤1👍1
I'm so sick of all the people who hurt me, and then they act as if there's nothing wrong with it. I hate being very forgiving. I know that nobody is perfect, and we all make mistakes. But it is not a valid reason to hurt someone. I wish they would understand how painful it is to bear everything that they do to me, even if I pretend that I am still okay. I am so sick of everyone who makes me feel terrible about myself. They will hurt me and do everything to make me feel small, and then they will blame me for the way I reacted. Their insensitivity makes me feel like I don't even have the right to complain about the pain that I receive from them. These things are making me sick, and I even wish I could just disappear so I could never see them again.
👍2
I wish people would learn how to be kind to others. Sometimes, I wish I could control how they treat me. It's just sad that we can't force them to do good things for others. We can't control someone's actions and words. I want to be patient with others, but sometimes I can't take it anymore. I am so sick of tolerating the wrong behaviors of others. I am so sick of being treated poorly. And I am so sick of forgiving people and watching them do the things that could hurt me over and over again. I am so sick of people, and I am so sick of them for making me feel so unwanted and unlovable.
— Shiori X
— Shiori X
👍1
I thought the most heartbreaking sound is a crying of a broken heart
every sniff and sob are like thousands of darts
getting through the system that it hurts
till the last strand of being—the pain burns.
I thought the most painful tears are those which you see
flowing from the eyes forming rivers to a sea
those which come with painful sobs
echoing behind locked door knobs
but I never knew there's still one
painful crying that creates no sound
a sound of a crying heart in silence
a sound of sniffs and sobs that yearn for recompense
I never have heard of a tearless cry
but I have seen her eyes and they can never lie
her tears streams down to her wounded soul
behind her laughter I can hear—it howls
I never have heard of cry without sniffs, sobs, and deep sighs
but I saw her beyond the lines
I heard the silent crack of her heart that shattered
into millions of pieces of words she never utter
I never knew how painful it could be
when you cry without tears melancholically
tears that's caged inside the heart for it can't flee
as no more of them can shed for the heart's too tired to bleed
and may be the most painful tears to cry
are the ones that come out dry
they don't show traces of pain
except by the confession of eyes that show no fain
the most painful cry is the one you can't hear
when the soul silently howl in sheer
tears which sound is only known to The Seer,
to Allāh alone Who is Near.
Veiled Poet | tearless cry
every sniff and sob are like thousands of darts
getting through the system that it hurts
till the last strand of being—the pain burns.
I thought the most painful tears are those which you see
flowing from the eyes forming rivers to a sea
those which come with painful sobs
echoing behind locked door knobs
but I never knew there's still one
painful crying that creates no sound
a sound of a crying heart in silence
a sound of sniffs and sobs that yearn for recompense
I never have heard of a tearless cry
but I have seen her eyes and they can never lie
her tears streams down to her wounded soul
behind her laughter I can hear—it howls
I never have heard of cry without sniffs, sobs, and deep sighs
but I saw her beyond the lines
I heard the silent crack of her heart that shattered
into millions of pieces of words she never utter
I never knew how painful it could be
when you cry without tears melancholically
tears that's caged inside the heart for it can't flee
as no more of them can shed for the heart's too tired to bleed
and may be the most painful tears to cry
are the ones that come out dry
they don't show traces of pain
except by the confession of eyes that show no fain
the most painful cry is the one you can't hear
when the soul silently howl in sheer
tears which sound is only known to The Seer,
to Allāh alone Who is Near.
Veiled Poet | tearless cry
❤2
When I say I'm tired, it doesn't mean I am giving up. I just feel so exhausted in everything, that no matter how many times I force myself to get up, I still end up feeling completely wear out. I've been thinking about my life and it's a shame on me seeing myself helplessly not progressing. I can't even make myself proud.
When I say I'm tired, I want people to understand me. I want them to appreciate me eventhough I will never be enough to impress them. I want them to give me silence for awhile or simply leave me alone. I never want to quit, but at least give me a time to rest from this tiredness.
I may have failed so many times, but I am working hard to make myself better. I'm tired of proving myself to anyone. But I wish they know that before they become disppointed with me, I've already been disappointed with myself for a long time.
— Shiori X
When I say I'm tired, I want people to understand me. I want them to appreciate me eventhough I will never be enough to impress them. I want them to give me silence for awhile or simply leave me alone. I never want to quit, but at least give me a time to rest from this tiredness.
I may have failed so many times, but I am working hard to make myself better. I'm tired of proving myself to anyone. But I wish they know that before they become disppointed with me, I've already been disappointed with myself for a long time.
— Shiori X
She's tired.
She's tired of the psychological mind games and people pretending to be someone they're not.
She's tired of the shallow conversations with people that only care about themselves.
She's tired of attention from men with hidden agendas.
She's tired of being treated like an option when she should have been treated like a priority from the first conversation.
She's tired of spending countless nights questioning her own self worth.
She's tired of people not respecting her boundaries and forcing her to do things she's not ready to do.
She's at a point in her life where she wants to be loved correctly or be left alone completely.
~ Cody Bret
She's tired of the psychological mind games and people pretending to be someone they're not.
She's tired of the shallow conversations with people that only care about themselves.
She's tired of attention from men with hidden agendas.
She's tired of being treated like an option when she should have been treated like a priority from the first conversation.
She's tired of spending countless nights questioning her own self worth.
She's tired of people not respecting her boundaries and forcing her to do things she's not ready to do.
She's at a point in her life where she wants to be loved correctly or be left alone completely.
~ Cody Bret
I disappear sometimes. It's my thing. No one notices, but there are days when I choose to just shut the door of my heart, and focus on trying to get through the rain and the sad thoughts that always find their way to the surface.
There are moments when people may need me and I'm not reachable. When the phone would ring and I'll just stare at the caller ID and wait it to stop because I don't want to talk. I hope they don't mind. I'm never good with opening up to people, or with sharing the weight of my world, and I think that it's fine. We all fight battles we don't tell anyone.
Don't get me wrong, my life has a lot of happy moments. But I disappear sometimes to save myself, and I hope it's not a selfish thing to do. I just want to win my battles, too.
— JMP
There are moments when people may need me and I'm not reachable. When the phone would ring and I'll just stare at the caller ID and wait it to stop because I don't want to talk. I hope they don't mind. I'm never good with opening up to people, or with sharing the weight of my world, and I think that it's fine. We all fight battles we don't tell anyone.
Don't get me wrong, my life has a lot of happy moments. But I disappear sometimes to save myself, and I hope it's not a selfish thing to do. I just want to win my battles, too.
— JMP
Ten months had already passed, and I can say that the greatest achievement I had done—so far—is to wake up each day and stay still, despite having many reasons to give up. There are days that sadness weighs heavier than myself, but I chose not to be swayed by the thought of letting it dragged me down—instead, I dragged my own feet to keep on going. I've had my share of this life's breakdown and downfall. And each time it happens, I learnt to stand back up stronger with the notion in my head that this might happen again—but by that time, we know how to deal with it better than before.
I can't let melancholy win over me now; I've had enough of grief and pain. It's all fine to face it again and again—that's just how life is—but I'll make sure to feel happiness on most of my days.
—Ren Ednalig, The Storytellers
I can't let melancholy win over me now; I've had enough of grief and pain. It's all fine to face it again and again—that's just how life is—but I'll make sure to feel happiness on most of my days.
—Ren Ednalig, The Storytellers
Sometimes, I feel so lonely and empty. I feel like I'm not getting any better. There is this emptiness in me that wants me to stop waking-up in the morning. I feel so tired. It seems like I don't have the energy to face the world anymore. I just want to sleep so that I would never feel lonely. I want to escape from all the feelings that's been haunting me.
I feel so alone every night. Whenever I close my eyes, I wish I would never wake-up anymore. But I wake-up every morning and I have no other choice but to keep going. Life must go on even how lonely my life is. It's sad to bear this kind of feeling. A part of me wants to die, while there is a little part of me that wants to be saved too.
I feel so alone every night. Whenever I close my eyes, I wish I would never wake-up anymore. But I wake-up every morning and I have no other choice but to keep going. Life must go on even how lonely my life is. It's sad to bear this kind of feeling. A part of me wants to die, while there is a little part of me that wants to be saved too.
👍1
I miss being fine. I miss living a normal life. And I miss feeling something. I wish the feeling of emptiness will just disappear when I wake-up. I want to feel a little less lonely every day until I feel okay. But I don't know why it's just so hard to be okay. Even how hard I try, I still end up feeling lonely. And most of the time, it's trying to kill me.
— Shiori X
— Shiori X
It's okay..
You'll be okay.
Maybe not now but one day you will.
Don't be so hard on yourself. You're doing your best already.
Maybe you're feeling so overwhelmed and exhausted. Maybe you feel like giving up everything all at once because you just had enough..
But you're stronger than this.
I believe in you.
You'll be okay.
Maybe not now but one day you will.
Don't be so hard on yourself. You're doing your best already.
Maybe you're feeling so overwhelmed and exhausted. Maybe you feel like giving up everything all at once because you just had enough..
But you're stronger than this.
I believe in you.
Forwarded from ₕₛ
This media is not supported in your browser
VIEW IN TELEGRAM
Some souls suffer silently.